Trying to Re-Connect

       I have been procrastinating a bit -- not only from writing on this blog, but from trying to find an old friend -- who I will call "P" -- who has disappeared from my life. 

       P and I were very close in the past. In fact, we were roommates in our college dorm, and remained roommates for two years of post-dorm college -- sharing an apartment along with another dear friend with whom I am still in several-times-a-day contact.  

       The several-times-a-day roommate (who posts on this blog occasionally as "Voncey") lived near my place in Toronto for several years after college. She was the maid of honor at my wedding to Tom. And although we now live on opposite sides of the United States, we still visit each other once or twice a year.

       P moved back to my old hometown, got a job, married, and, I think, had kids.  I used to visit her once a year or so when I went home to visit my parents. And we wrote occasional letters back and forth. Yes, people still wrote letters in those days.

       But when she moved away from my hometown, I no longer saw her much. And when I invited her to my wedding, she didn't come -- and for a pretty good reason. One of her brothers was due to have major surgery and she wanted to be available for him.  

       Still, I was truly saddened that she couldn't come.  Voncey, P and I had been such a team. I wanted both of them to share my last night of being single. I wanted P there for me -- to complete the circle of family and friends who would be surrounding me on one of the happiest days of my life.

       Sadly, that was pretty much the last contact we had -- over 15 years ago. I think we sent occasional cards over the holiday season, but those stopped long ago. To be perfectly clear, I think I was the one who stopped  writing. Voncey also lost contact with her.

       But now I'd like to re-connect. I've been thinking of her.  I'd like to know how she is doing. I'd like to apologize for dropping the ball.

 

       In this day of internet communication, you'd think it wouldn't be a big deal to find her address somewhere and e-mail her. 

       But I can't find her.  Because her job put her in contact with some unsavory people, she never listed her phone number. She also does not appear to be on Facebook or other social networking sites -- under either her married name or maiden name. I similarly could not find any information for her husband.

       Knowing P had always been close to her family, I decided to search for them instead, and found a phone number for her brother and sister-in-law.  

       I called them the other night, introduced myself, and was greeted coldly.  "We aren't in contact with that part of the family," the sister-in-law told me.  "We have no phone number or address for her."

       I was shocked, and told her so. "You were all so close!" I said.  Mind you, just as I had let the years pass without contact, perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised that family members could do the same. And let's face it, 15 years is a long time.  A lot can happen...

       The sister-in-law told me it was not their fault they were not in contact with P, although I know there are always two sides to such goings-on.  I quickly told her that in my case, the lack of communication was my fault. 

       I expressed my sadness to hear of her family's breach, and said I hoped she and her husband and children are all well. She softened a bit at that, and gave me the number of another family member to call -- an aunt who, she said, might know where P is.

       I have had the number for two days now, and have not called.

       But I am about to do it now...