Am I Fit Yet?

      Another month, and another resolution has passed, and I'm not sure this one turned out anything like I had expected. Honestly, I am so not into fitness that I thought I might simply spend the whole month demonstrating how useless 15-minute programs are, or pointing out the general ridiculousness of various gimmicks or gadgets.

       Instead, I think I benefitted from all of it. 

       Although I had assumed I would try a range of 15-minute workouts -- from yoga to aerobics -- the Peggy Brill one was enough of a challenge initially that it kept me going for the first 10 days or so, and after that, it started to feel like a habit.  Just like that, it was my new routine! I must admit that the 15-minutes I spend doing the exercises still feels longer, and I still have to talk myself into it every day. But the fact that it is only 15 minutes definitely makes it easier to just get down and do it.

       Adding the shape-up shoes and the iPosture device added some expense. But to me they felt almost like freebies, since they didn't demand any more of my day. I can simply use them, and benefit from them, while living my life normally. And as I wrote about yesterday, one certainly doesn't need the iPosture to stand up straight.  It's simply a little, vibrating, reminder.

       So am I fit now -- 27 days later?  

       Well...probably not. But I am surely more fit than I was before. I feel stronger, my muscles are clearly more toned and although I had come to accept some back pain as simply a fact of life, I am now pleasantly surprised to be having less of it.

       Will I keep up with my routine? I believe I will.  15 minutes a day is a fairly small investment to make into my on-going and future well-being. I may add some variety or experiment with other programs over time. But I think the concept works for me, while anything more demanding might not.

       I read recently that riding a bicycle for 40 minutes a day can add three years to one's life. But the way I calculate it, bike riding for 40 minutes a day, over time, could easily use up three years of one's life. So unless one actually enjoy bike riding, there's no net gain as far as I'm concerned.

       And I do not enjoy bike riding, or running, or aerobics classes, or beach volleyball.  I simply don't want to spend my time that way. If you do, that's your choice. 

       I'd rather read, or cook, or watch the news, or cuddle with Tom and Olympia, or simply sit on my deck and watch the sun set. I'll likely never run a marathon or go on a long-distance cycling expedition. Those will likely never be the sort of things I choose as resolutions. And I refuse to feel there is anything wrong with that.

       But I have shown myself that with just some minor changes, I can indeed look after myself better. And to me, that does seem worthwhile.

       And perhaps I have learned something important about resolutions too.

       They don't have to be big. They don't have to be dramatic. You don't have to make huge changes, promises, commitments or deprivations.  Something as small as a 15-minute a day change can make a difference.

Sitting Up Straight -- Without the Nagging

       My mother, probably like all mothers, used to nag me to sit up straight.  

       I had expected the iPosture to do the same thing. I thought it would be constantly vibrating or buzzing, perhaps with increasing strength and increasing annoyance, until I felt I was 11 years old again. 

       But it isn't like that at all.

       In fact, it seems that when I wear it, I work harder to sit up straight, virtually without the vibrating reminders.  It seems as it, simply by its presence, I do what I am supposed to (except when sitting on the toilet, apparently, and in my view, it's just fine to slouch there).

       And when I do sit up straight, I feel better. Maybe Mom was right, all those years ago.  Probably Moms often are.

       But the thing I wonder about now is whether the iPosture is truly necessary.  While it cost approximately $80.00, I can't help but wonder if a string tied around my finger would have done almost as much. Or maybe I could have switched a ring I wear on one hand onto the other hand instead -- just something to remind me of my renewed commitment to better posture.

       Maybe some of you readers will try it out for me. Just try sitting up straight, with your arms at your side. And anytime you happen to notice the string tied around your finger, or the ring on the wrong hand, if you happen to be slouching, just sit up straight again.  We can call it brenPosture.  And consider it my gift to you. 

An End to Back Pain?

       I had worn the iPosture to the lecture, in part because I had had back pain when I went to the theatre earlier in the week.  I had hoped the device would help remind me to sit upright.

       But I was rather surprised that the iPosture didn't buzz me while there.  As I did at home, I bent way over at one point to ensure it was functioning, and it did eventually vibrate.  And then I sat up straight again, and it didn't buzz me. I should have been paying attention to the lecture -- the ticket had cost $40. But I was distracted by my posture.  It seemed to me that my back was straight, my arms hanging by my side.  At most talks or lectures, I slouched, crossed my arms or squirmed.  But this time, it appeared that I was sitting up properly. Either that or the device worked only when I bent over.  

       Either way, when I left the lecture, I had no back pain.

       The next day, I wore my iPosture to a triple-feature movie.  We wanted to see all the movies nominated for Academy Award Best Picture that we hadn't yet seen, and this was the most efficient way to do it.  Once again, I wasn't buzzed -- at all. I was aware that I was sitting up quite straight in my movie seat. Sure, I leaned toward Tom occasionally to whisper something to him; I would bend over to take a quick drink from my giant frequently-refilled Diet Coke. But as none of those took longer than 60 seconds, I wasn't buzzed. The rest of the time, I sat up straight -- perhaps straighter than I ever had in a movie before.  I wondered if I looked fake to anyone -- sitting up with a false erectness. But it was dark, and I was with strangers. It seemed unlikely that anyone would either notice me, or care. And after eight hours of sitting in a theater, I got up and my back didn't hurt at all -- which was truly unexpected.

       The next night, I wore the device again to our neighbors' place, where we watched the Academy Awards together.  I sat on the sofa, Olympia stretched out next to me.  This time, the iPosture occasionally buzzed me. It went off maybe four times over the course of the four-hour program. And every time it did, I sat up straight, my arms at my side. I wondered again if it looked false or fake, but no one commented on it.  No one seemed to notice or care, even though I was not hiding in darkness and was with people who knew me.  And when I got up at the end of the long evening, my back felt fine again.

       It isn't like I have constant back pain or anything. But normally after sitting like that -- at a lecture, movie or a long television show, I get up with a groan -- like some kind of old, old lady. The back pain usually goes away quickly -- often within minutes.  But for the last three days, I hadn't had even that pain.

       It appeared that something was happening. Something good...

Apology

       Dear Friends and Readers,

       I am so sorry I haven't posted for the past few days. I had a dog health panic to deal with. But for those who know and love Olympia (and to know her is to love her), everything is absolutely fine now. And now I'm going to post more about my iPosture...

My First Posture Lessons

       I decided to wear the iPosture device to a lecture I was attending last night. I had several good reasons to think this would be a good environment to try it for the first time.

       First, in case I was electrocuted (which, I admit, seemed unlikely), I would be in a very public place where I was likely to get help from someone other than Tom (a possible, but also unlikely, co-conspirator).

       Second, I got a sore back after attending the theatre over the weekend, due in part to twisting and slouching in my uncomfortable seat. I didn't want this to happen again, and hoped the iPosture would help.

       Third, in case the lecture was boring, any vibration, electric shock or even electrocution might actually be a welcome distraction.

       The device fit easily on my bra strap, and surprisingly, could hardly be seen under my sweater.  Once it was on, the instructions told me to stand up erect "in a good, comfortable posture" and then to briefly press on the device's iPosture logo. Once activated, apparently the iPosture would vibrate when I slouched.

       I could see a problem already. What if I didn't stand up straight enough? What if what I thought of as good posture was really pretty poor posture? I remember that when the personal trainer commented on my posture last year, I was actually trying to stand up straight -- without being overly fake about it.

       And to confuse things more, the iPosture instructions advised against using a very strict posture. "Good posture is about feeling confident and tall (hmmmm...) not over-arched, stiff and inflexible."

       It sounded like I might need a real, live, posture coach just to get me started. Still, I stood up straight -- but not too straight -- and pressed the logo. The device vibrated briefly under my finger, to let me know it was ready to judge me.

       Then I walked around and waited. And I waited some more. And I tried to stand casually. And I waited. And nothing happened.

      I checked the instructions again and read that the iPosture would vibrate after about 60 seconds of poor posture -- not simply every time one moved about or bent slightly or slouched for a moment -- which probably is a good thing. I had envisioned a nearly constant reminder to stand up straight -- kind of like my ballet teacher hassling me as a child.  

       Still, to ensure the device was actually functional, I bent deeply over my laptop for maybe a minute, and eventually felt a subtle vibration and heard a small buzz, telling me that I was indeed bent over. So I knew it worked, sort of. It was at least an iDon'tBendOver.

       So I proceeded to prepare to go out. And I discovered some useful posture-related things about myself along the way.

       First, I found it difficult to brush my teeth while maintaining good posture. But I received no vibration/buzz while brushing because it seems that I don't brush my teeth for the 60 seconds required to activate the device. This, of course, raises questions about my dental hygiene. Indeed, Dental Health Magazine advises that proper tooth brushing takes at least two minutes, or 120 seconds. 

       Second, I learned that I definitely slouch while sitting on the toilet, and that I do spend at least the requisite 60 seconds at that task. Bzzzzzzzzzzzz.

       With that useful information in mind, and an empty bladder, I headed out the door to my lecture...

        

A Shocking Idea...

       The iPosture is a round white device, around 1.5 inch in diameter (3.5 cm.).  It is supposed to be attached to the wearer -- either worn as a rather bizarre necklace, attached to the skin with adhesive, or hung from a bra strap. Apparently, when the wearer slouches -- even for a short time -- the device will transmit "subtle vibrations" to the skin, reminding the wearer to correct his or her posture.

       It sounds simple, but I'm a little bit afraid. 

       I keep on thinking of Stanley Milgram's famous experiment where Milgram demonstrated the willingness of people to obey authority.  This is the one where "teachers" were told they were giving electric shocks to "learners" (or victims) who gave the wrong answers to questions. The "learners" were in on the study and were just pretending to receive electric shocks from the teachers. What was troubling is that when told to, some of the teachers were willing to continue giving increasingly strong "shocks" even when the victim cried out in pain or complained about their heart condition.

       I'm worried that the iPosture might work in reverse. 

       Sure, I am told that it will transmit only a subtle vibration to my skin. But what if that's a lie? What if it just pretends to vibrate, but instead delivers increasingly strong electric shocks to my body? What if, like Milgram's teachers, it is so eager to correct my posture that it tries to shock me into submission?  

       And what if, once I am compliant with regard to posture, it begins controlling other aspects of my existence by shocking me when I fail to do other things? What if, when I fail to make the bed in the morning (for I have indeed stopped), my iPosture shocks me? What if it makes other, more troubling demands?

       Maybe I should wait to try it until Tom gets home, in case I need medical assistance, or in case I need help tearing the controlling device off of my body.

       Or maybe he's in on it, and plans to use the iPosture to turn me into a mini-skirt-wearing Stepford Wife. He often complains that I don't wear skirts often enough.

       I feel a true sense of terror. 

       Help me, please...before it takes over...

       AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

My New Gadget

       It's time to introduce my newest gadget. Like the shape-up shoes, this one is designed to help me get fit without taking any more of my time.

       It's called iPosture.  According to the front of the pack it is "QUICK & EASY". It goes on: "Trim your waistline now! Maximize your height, Gain confidence and energy." It is, it says, my "own personal posture coach!"

   I admit that these breathless promises remind me of the "sea-monkey" ads that used to be on the back of comic books.  But just as I did in fact order my own sea monkey royal family all those years ago, I also simply had to have iPosture.

      Those you have been following this resolution all month long will know that the last personal trainer I visited commented on my poor posture, so I would likely benefit from a personal posture coach.  In addition, I think there is little doubt that good posture is key to a strong core.

       But the other iPosture promises are even more thrilling.  First, I have not been dieting this month, although the reality is that I'm sure I could lose 20 lbs. without anyone worrying I  was too skinny. And since fitness combined with laziness is my goal for the month, it is appealing to think that I may trim my waist without dieting.   (On the other hand, plenty of weight-loss products make promises like that, including many of those which talk about "cleansing". Yuck...)

       Way more important to me is the idea that I might somehow seem taller without having to grow -- not that that alone has much to do with my fitness resolution.

       However, the fact is that I am somewhat vertically-challenged. Indeed, I have been waiting to grow ever since I saw all my friends getting their magical "growth spurt" in their teens. I waited, wished and hoped -- for years -- but it never found it's way to me.  And at the age of 45, I guess it never will.

       "Maximizing my height" may be as close as I ever get. And at my age, I guess it's better than shrinking.