Back-Handed Compliments?

       Tom and I live in a fairly casual community, where people are way more likely to wear jeans and hiking boots than dress pants and heels. 

       I was caught off guard by this originally.  I still remember, with pain, being invited to a house party our first year here, and wearing chic party clothes like I would have in New York, but finding all the other guests were wearing cords and bulky sweaters.  

       Over the years though, I have made more of an effort to fit in. I have added color to my nearly all-black New York wardrobe. I wear comfy Croc sandals regularly -- sometimes even in snow. I still don't feel quite right in jeans, but I have been wearing the same wide-legged khaki pants almost every day this summer. Honestly, many days I hardly think about what I am wearing at all.

       Since beginning to emulate Audrey Hepburn, however, I have started to pay a bit more attention again to my look.  I am wearing heels more often. I have worn skirts  and dresses a few times, and occasionally will wear a scarf. And I have been feeling good about these changes.

       Except for one thing...

       People, even people I hardly know, have been giving me compliments.  

       For instance, I was out walking Olympia recently. I was wearing a skirt, a pretty sleeveless blouse and heels and had my hair twisted up. A woman from a nearby office building came out to give Olympia her usual dose of attention and commented on how nice Oly looked with her new summer haircut. And then the woman looked up at me and commented, "Oh my! And don't you look lovely today too!" 

       Is that supposed to be a compliment? Someone who sees me nearly every day compares my loveliness to my dog? (I admit, Olympia is a traffic stopper, but still...) And what did she mean that I looked lovely today? Was that some kind of inference that I normally don't look so good?

       And there was the grocery store clerk this past weekend. I was wearing a beaded tank top, a large scarf arrayed loosely around my neck, and sunglasses (but not Audrey sunglasses) and he said "You look great. Wow!" I see this clerk nearly every time I go shopping. He even sometimes opens a cash register for me so that I don't  have to stand in line. He often says that he is glad to see me. But never in the last few years that he has been working at the store has he ever commented on my appearance. Once again, I felt annoyed that he seemed to be suggesting that I looked different than usual somehow...or maybe that my usual appearance did not warrant a comment.

       I didn't even thank the guy. I think I may have snorted instead -- something Audrey likely would not have done.

       So while I feel half-inclined to continue making these little fashion efforts, I also feel half-inclined to simply say, "Screw you, everyone! I am what I am!"

       Do you know what I mean?