3/15/2009

Independence Day, Part 2: The Charmin Difference

       To sum up my last entry, our Independence Day celebration in Philadelphia had been, literally, a taste of hell. Sure, the parade had been good, but since then, it had pretty much been heat without respite -- the melting asphalt under us reflecting it back to our blistering skin. By the time evening started to fall, and we found ourselves in a long, snaking line, it was clear that Dante knew what he was writing about. I’m not sure we even knew what the line was for, but we were too weak to care, or ask, or step out of it.
       We were not speaking to each other at this point – too tired, or too beaten down by the heat to say anything. At least that meant we weren’t blaming each other for the miserable day. Or perhaps we still liked each other too much for that.
       I can’t remember much about standing in line, but I think we shuffled along it for close to an hour. Tom occasionally waved a paper program of the day’s events at me, trying to fan some air in my direction.
       I don’t even remember how or when I got into a tiny private bathroom. All I remember is relieving myself, automatically, and then realizing that air conditioning was blowing on me. And gentle music was playing. And the room smelled fresh and clean. And soft, soft toilet paper was hanging from the wall. And the toilet paper hadn’t wilted in the humidity. It was cool and dry and soft. I started to get up, and then looking around at the cool blue walls, I sat down again on the toilet. And I let the air conditioning blow on me some more. 
       After a while, I revived further and noticed that the bathroom door in front of me was imprinted with a Charmin logo. I rested my head on the toilet paper roll beside me. And after maybe five minutes in the cool, cool air, I stood up in my little private bathroom and found a spotless sink and a spotless faucet that poured cool, cool, water into my hands.
       At this point, my brain started to function a bit. I grabbed handfuls of Charmin, wet them in the cool, cool water and sponged off my face, neck and arms. And then I let the delicious air conditioning dry me off.
       When I came out, I could see that there were perhaps 15 personal Charmin bathrooms lined up on a trailer. And off to the side, I saw Tom and David beaming at me – also cooler, fresher, glowing and revived. It was, as Tom put it, the greatest “brand experience” any of us had ever had.
       As we walked away, it seemed that a breeze was blowing and that the air was considerably cooler. A band started to play and our Independence Day celebration finally took on the air of a party. The fireworks that night were fantastic – the best I had ever seen. And I can’t help but feel that the joy we had that evening was all due to Charmin.
       Since then, I have made a point of using Charmin Ultra Soft – both out of gratitude and because it is, in fact, Ultra Soft.
       And environmental concerns or not, I'll gladly keep on using it.