Fit to be Tied

       Since my friend here in New York is so perfectly uncluttered, I figured that I would impress her by telling her something about cleaning that she didn't already know.  Martha's description of how to properly fold a fitted sheet seemed just the thing to really wow her.  The trick is to start by tucking each corner into the other. 

       "Do you know how to fold a fitted sheet so that it's all tidy?" I asked.

       "You mean with the corners all tucked into each other?" she replied.

       "Uh...yeah...," I said, before changing the topic.

       But it bothered me.  Down deep, it bothered me.

       So I asked another friend here in New York if she knew how to fold a fitted sheet.  And she knew the trick too. And then I called a friend in Toronto, who not only knew the trick, but also commented that it doesn't always work as well as promised. Then I e-mailed another friend, who also knew about it. Then I text-messaged a sister-in-law to ask her. She sent back a nice note, but didn't answer the question. Clearly her priorities are not where they should be.

        And while I shopped yesterday (nearly 12 hours straight, remarkably) I remained bothered by the whole fitted sheet issue. Was I the only one on the planet who didn't know about this? What other tricks of woman-hood (or person-hood) had been denied me?  What other secrets was everyone in on, except me?  

       Or perhaps I had known about it once, but had simply forgotten. Perhaps this was my first, somewhat premature, "senior moment"?  Or perhaps I had erased my memory of proper sheet folding, due to some traumatic childhood event?  

       I'm not kidding here. When I say I was bothered, I mean I was really, really bothered.

       So late last night, I called my Mom.  It turns out she doesn't fold sheets the Martha way.  Instead, she tries to fold over the edges of the sheets, so that she is left with a square -- which is what I do.  And, the whole time she is folding, she works to keep the elasticized parts folded in, so that they remain hidden -- which is what I do. And when she puts the sheets in the linen closet, she puts the flat sheet on top of the fitted sheet, so that if the fitted sheet is a bit lumpy, it is mostly flattened and hidden by the top sheet -- which is what I do!  

       And suddenly I was feeling good again. I may not know everything.  I may not be perfect.  But what I do have is tradition.  And that has to count for something.

       By the way, if any of my readers also don't know the Martha method, post a comment, and I'll describe it in detail.