Shredding the Past, Doggie-Style

       My Dad called a couple of days ago to suggest that the purchase of a shredder might help address my overwhelming paper issue.  Indeed, a shredder can be useful not only to destroy unnecessary documents, but also to protect one from identity theft. And we have, in fact, had a shredder for years.  Our problem is using it.

       For the last five years, we have had the joy of living with our nearly perfect dog, Olympia. Despite her grand-sounding name, we have taken to calling her "Mouse" because she is frightened of many things -- vacuums, brooms, mops, skateboards, garbage trucks, buses, fireworks, thunder, rain on the windows, creaking sounds from wind, the movement of blinds in a gentle breeze, and, of course, paper shredders.  

       We have tried to overcome these fears in any number of ways advised by dog specialists, but to no avail. So we have adjusted our lives, instead. What this means is that not only do I have to keep a cautious eye out for garbage trucks on our morning walks and "hide" with her in a closet during thunderstorms, I also have to avoid shredding paper in her company. Martha would be pleased that I already have an organized system to deal with this -- a small wicker basket where I put all the items I want to shred. (Since I file nearly everything, this basket does not contain many full documents, but does include items like the envelopes those documents come in, credit card applications, and of course, the labels that come on our pizza delivery boxes. The fact that we live at our address and order double cheese on our pizzas is surely a matter some identity-thief would be interested in.)  

       So, when Tom takes Olympia for her night-time walk, I often try to shred some of these gathered documents, if I am not otherwise busy sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and airing out our home.  To be honest, I find it hard to keep up, and the basket frequently overflows.

       Now that I have several years of irrelevant bills and other paperwork to destroy, I fear my night-time shredding system will be entirely overwhelmed. And really, with possibly several thousand pages to shred, is my seven-sheet shredder really the most efficient way?

       A search on Google, and one phone call later, I have the answer. A local mobile shredding company advised that I can bring my papers to a suburban location between 8 and 8:30 a.m. and have my papers shredded in front of me for only $6 per box.  Six dollars for a standard sized storage box!  It may cost me over $6 in gas to get there, and I'll have to get up extra early to do it, and I'll have to drive through rush hour traffic for about an hour to get there. 

       But nonetheless, I have a plan that will protect both my sanity and that of my otherwise perfect dog.

       I love you, sweetheart. Yes, I do. Who's the best dog in the whole world? You are! Good girl...